Music Drives Me Crazy... for More!!

I love music. I love it so much that when I start listening to it, I remember almost every single this that goes on in the world.

Here's an example: there's this one kind of hand cream I started using at around the same time I started listening to songs by this one guy who calls himself Gotye. You know, the guy who wrote "Somebody I used to know" with the video of naked people singing at each other while some magical force paints designs on their skin? He actually makes great music, better than that one song. He just got famous for that song because there's naked people in it. (The video, I mean. The song has nothing to do with naked people.)

Anyway, I get really, REALLY dry skin on my hands every couple of years for whatever reason, and because of that I start wearing a lot of hand cream. And when I discover a new favorite artist, I listen to them exclusively for a few weeks or so. So whenever I was wearing the hand cream, I'd be listening to some Gotye. Then the phase passed. But whenever someone uses that same hand cream, my brain immediately goes, "That cream smells like Gotye music."

It's just the connections my brain makes are completely sensible, but make no sense at all, simultaneously, and it confuses me while throwing me back into a past of staying up late drawing some really epic pictures. That's what I used to do; stay up late, listen to Gotye, and draw. Back before I had this weird issue with sleep. That's a long story.

But the connections my brain makes throws me into a torment of emotions, and I'm left going, "Wow, that's weird, but I like it for some reason," and everyone around me is asking if I'm okay, and what the heck am I talking about, anyway?

Here's another example: When I was a lot younger, my family would go on a trip to a place called Sunriver, where one of my relatives kept an extra house and we'd stay there over the winter because it always snowed and it was really fun. The drive took hours, so my parents would play music. As far as I can remember, every single time, they played Santana. Only Santana music, every winter, for hours in a row as we drove to this faraway place that I loved but didn't really know that well. I really liked it, and sometimes, when we weren't at Sunriver, I'd like to listen to it again, but I never learned the artist because I was too young to have learned that different people actually wrote this stuff. So I would say, "I want to listen to the Sunriver music!" And my parents would go, "What Sunriver music?" and I'd get frustrated that I couldn't articulate what I wanted better and shout, "The music we listen to when we go to Sunriver!" and after a lot of arguing I'd be able to get my point across and they'd play me the music I wanted, and then I was the happiest little five year old in the world.

Another one, because what the heck: I've already established that I love the Percy Jackson books. So you'd understand my joy when my mom came home from work a few years ago and presented me with the last book in the series, just released earlier that day. I thought they'd have sold out, and they almost had before my mom was able to snag one. My dad had also come across an album by Death Cab for Cutie practically on the same day. It might as well have been on the same day, because he started playing it everywhere, at home, in the car, anywhere he could. I liked it as much as he did, and learned every song in the background of Percy Jackson saving the world from the titan Kronos. But gosh darn it, when I wanted to listen to it myself, I had forgotten the name of the artist, and when I asked Dad about it, I accidentally called it "The Percy Jackson music," because that's what I called it in my head, but it didn't make any sense to my dad because he hadn't been reading Percy Jackson.

I don't know why my brain does this, and I don't know if anyone else's does, too. I just know it's a thing that happens that confuses everybody. But that doesn't mean I want it to stop. Because every time I hear Santana, I think of Sunriver, and playing in the snow, and waking up at five A.M. with my mom to walk down to the local bakery to buy doughnuts for everyone before they woke up and surprising them with the best breakfast in the world, and playing Monopoly, and winning before really knowing what it was about, and having bad TV reception. Every time I hear Death Cab for Cutie, I remember Percy Jackson swimming in the River Styx and Annabeth taking a poisoned knife that was meant for him, and the bad guy not always wanting to be evil. Every time I smell that hand cream, I remember Gotye, and singing along to it, and late nights of drawing, and sixth grade, back when everything was going my way, when I was the smartest girl in my class, the best writer, the best artist. Back when I was on top.

When I hear this music, I live in the past. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing, and I don't really know if it should stop. But it's what happens. And the past happened, and you can't change it, so why try to change it now?



Hey Guys! Feeling a bit better, my schedule's actually up on my parent's account now. It's still rejecting my login, but at least I can see it somewhere. I'm not as stressed right now. Except that my parents want to take me camping on Sunday (the 31st of August). After getting a shot on Friday, and the shopping and the donating to goodwill and the water gun fights and the birthday party on Saturday, I think I'm due for some relaxation, especially with school TWO FREAKING DAYS AWAY and I haven't finished planning for it yet!! Urgh! My parents are forcing me to go anyway.

Sorry for the delay in Super stuff. It's on its way, I promise. I also have something extra planned to come out sometime this September, which – SPOILER ALERT – involves Superheroes, insane people, and funny therapists. Sounds weird? Yes. But it's a hilarious thing I've had a lot of help coming up with, and believe me, it's awesome. You will not want to miss this. Keep your eyes open for it.

As far as updates go, that's about it. Thanks for reading! If you like this, or even better, have your own experience that you'd like to share, please say so in the comment section!!! I love to hear from you guys, and the steady rise in comments is making me really happy! If you want to comment, but can't because Google can be stupid sometimes, send me an email at polarfarina@gmail.com and I can post it for you, if you'd like! Or if you don't want me to, I won't. Fanmail is the best, any way you look at it.

              My Heart's a Mess,
                    PolarFarina