Eating Cheerios is a Big Deal (Don't Look At Me, I Didn't Make It That Way) Also, One Of My Classmates Might Be An Alien

You know, sometimes it seems that other people are just weird. Like, so weird that you end up wondering if they're actual people, and if they are, how they made it this far in life without it occurring to you earlier that there's something funky about them.

Take the other day in my history class. It's the first class of the day (Sometimes, it depends on what day it is) and a lot of times I don't have enough time to eat breakfast before heading to school, so I grab something quick to munch on in class. This particular day I had brought with me a plastic bag full of Cheerios. I waited to start eating them until about twenty minutes into class, when we began watching a movie about Andrew Carnegie (A whole 2 and a half hours -- three days of just watching a movie! Score!), because I have a weird thing where I concentrate better when I'm eating, especially if I'm watching a movie. I'd been munching on my Cheerios for about ten minutes when the girl across the aisle leaned over and asked, "What are you eating?"

This girl, while one of the more popular ones who loved to talk and socialize, had never even spoken to me before. It was weird because I had two other classes with her, and though not particularly smart, she saw herself as dumb. Of course, she wasn't, even I could see that. But I wasn't about to explain it to her.

I thought the reason she didn't talk to me before was because I was a "social outcast." I am part of no clique, and am practically invisible to most people. But you know, there's a reason for that. And I'm okay with it.

But all of a sudden this girl who's never even spoken to me -- heck, she doesn't even know my name (I know hers, but hey, she's popular, everybody knows her) -- leans over and asks me about my choice of breakfast this morning.

"Uh... Cheerios?" I say, stunned that someone's trying to speak to me. The movie's in the middle of explaining how Andrew Carnegie basically screwed over his best friend so he could keep his own business. It's actually pretty interesting, explaining how his life began in Scotland, and that iron (and eventually steel) companies put his family out of business, throwing them into poverty. Pretty ironic, considering he eventually became the biggest steel company in the world. But this girl just won't let me watch peacefully.

"What do they taste like?" I look at her to make sure she's serious. Excuse me? What does she think they taste like?

"Like Cheerios," I say. By now we're getting some looks; mostly just the guy sitting behind me and the football players sitting one row over -- they're always looking for a distraction. Even if they don't realize it.

"No, but I mean," says the girl, "do they taste good?"

"They're Cheerios," I say. "That's it. That's what they taste like." I keep eating. What? Conversation never stops me from feeding my appetite. The video's busy talking about how Andrew Carnegie profited by making his workers run the steel factories 24 hours a day, seven days a week, paid with bare minimum wage, with one day off -- Independence Day. (Also known as the Fourth of July.) Dude, this guy was ruthless.

"No, no... I mean..." the girl says, trying to explain, "what are they?"

At this point, everyone's like, why can't she let it go? They're FRIGGING CHEERIOS.

"Stop it, man," says a football guy. "They're just Cheerios."

"But what are they?" she asks.

"Can you just shut up?" asks one of the other football dudes, less polite than the rest of us.

"Yeah, man," says another one, two seats behind me. "Just leave Cassie alone." (This guy I actually knew as a person -- in fact, I never learned he was a football player at all until he wore his jersey to school one day.)

"But I wanna know--"

"Is there a problem here?" asks the teacher. Everyone immediately turns to face forward. She isn't actually the teacher -- she's just a student from the college downtown, learning to be a teacher. The real teacher, so far, has just sat in the back and let this student do the work. It's a weird setup. While this "student-teacher" isn't the best person to be feeding you information, she sure can make you feel like you're in trouble.

"No," grumbled Cheerio Girl. We all turned our attention back to the movie.

Haven't spoken to her since.

It's just weird. I'm not sure where she expected to go with this. It's not like she couldn't see the Cheerios sitting on my desk, or me putting them in my mouth, or hear everybody else yelling at her to shut up about the Cheerios already. But she just kept asking what they were. I dunno; maybe her brain short-circuited. I honestly thought she had eaten Cheerios before. Maybe she hadn't, and that was her problem. If so, that would have been a very sad childhood.

It's just really confusing to think you know someone and then have them prove you completely wrong. And that's when you start wondering if they're actually an alien that's been pretending to be that person, and they just broke their cover.

Oh, no... Cheerio Girl is an alien!


             ~PolarFarina
P.S. Cheerios are awesome. Anyone who says otherwise is an alien, and should meet up with Cheerio Girl so they can plot to get to their home planet(s) safely.