The Queen of Biting off More Than She Can Chew

Listen, it's been, like, a year, since I posted anything at all on this blog. And it's been close to two years since I actually posted some real content on this blog. Do you want to know the reason why I keep not doing anything? Yeah, you probably do.

The reason behind me taking such long breaks is because I constantly bite off more than I can chew. I throw myself into a project, but tend to stop and try to back up when I realize that I didn't even look first. Pro tip: Always look before you fling all your effort into one thing.

Here, look. I'm going to list everything that's been happening in the past year alone, to help you get caught up with my life.

Let's start with school. School's easy to talk about.
     The way my school works is that we each take eight classes. I'm taking a lot of advanced classes; six, in fact, out of the eight total, count as "advanced" on varying levels, but they all apply to an honors diploma. I'm taking AP Studio Art, AP US Government, AP Statistics, Oregon Ecology (which gets me college credit for just taking the class [passing is a requirement though]), Senior Shakespeare, and Forensic Science. The last classes are Ceramics 3, which is the highest ceramics class I can be taking, and an Independent Study class, to allow for more worktime on my AP Art projects. (It's always fun to see peoples' jaws drop when they hear about this long list of advanced classes I'm taking, like they can't believe one person can handle it all. Yeah, I can handle it, but there's also a lot more.)

So there's that. I've been managing my homework for those classes while planning for the SATs later this month, and the four AP exams I'm taking in April, WOW. My senior project also has to be completed soon, as well as applying for colleges and thinking about what I'm going to do over the summer. Quite a lot, when I type it out. It doesn't feel extremely stressful, though. It's just my life.

My year has also been filled with abandoned projects. I stopped working on Nosey stuff for a while, because of everything else. I keep trying to restart the Glen story, because I have increasing amounts of new ideas, but none of them can stay together very well. I had this new idea for a story that's completely unrelated, but it's not a very old idea so I basically just have a concept and I'll need to develop actual characters before I consider doing some real writing. I've been managing an art blog on Tumblr, and I'm currently working on drawing sets of every single character from a video game called Team Fortress 2 on there. I created this ghost character last Halloween but I can't figure out what to do with it. I've been painting up a frenzy for my art class; five paintings in one week at one point. I've been making a series of comics that operate on a different level of humor than what I'm used to doing, which is also a challenge to nail. I'm planning about five different webcomics simultaneously, and I'm working on them all to see which ones turn out to have the best stuff going for them. I've started doing photography, and I think I'm pretty good at it; I've been helping with designing the set for our school's production of The Two Gentlemen of Verona, which is no small task, either. My parents have been pressuring me into spending time working on getting my driver's permit, but come on. I'm only one teenager. I can't do it all.

On top of that, I've been sick for almost a whole week straight. I've been busy sleeping my butt off and falling behind in everything. Thankfully the weekend happened so I could catch up. I had to cancel last minute the other day on some plans because I assumed that my sickness would just magically disappear after a certain point. It did not, and I feel bad for having to cancel, but I wish there was more I could have done about it, somehow. I'm a very awkward human. I'm also not used to dealing with sickness for prolonged periods of time, as you might be able to guess.

People have been inviting me to work on stuff with them: someone wants me to help them paint a mural, others are working on a writing project and they want me to be part of it, every now and then I get asked to help with charity events. I've been cast as a character in a video game that's in the works - just voice acting though, and I'm pretty sure I'm not getting paid, which is fine by me. Multiple art clubs are wanting to recruit me, and I have like five people trying to take me to their youth groups. People want me to go to Mexico with them over spring break, or go to Disneyland (I have to pay though), come with them to Hawaii (I also have to pay for that), or to apply to certain jobs that require me to actually move, or to take part in summer workshops. Also there's just like, parties that happen, because those exist, and I sometimes get invited to those. So much has been happening.

I also still have to find time to consume media like TV shows, movies, and new music, because that's how I find inspiration/motivation, and also I just need some me time every now and then. Again, I am just human. It always bothers me when I have to say no to helping out/doing things with friends, though. Like, it bothers me a lot. It pains me when I have to cancel or say no to an event, and I'm left thinking about it for ages, wondering why I can't do more. Sometimes I have to look back and realize exactly how much I'm doing already.

I've literally been spending so much time inside doing various things that whenever I take a walk outside, no matter the weather, I realize that it's almost like I've forgotten how it feels to breathe fresh air. Just taking time out of my day to walk around the neighborhood is pretty much a thing of the past, and it's just so weird. All of this is so weird. I've never had a year this filled with stuff while still simultaneously feeling like everything's cool. I guess I'm just so used to having this facade of coolness that I've finally fooled myself into remaining de-stressed even in the most stressful of situations.

Anyway, the other day I remembered how much effort I used to put into this blog. I've been putting that effort into other things, but maybe I should come back to this blog. As you can almost definitely tell, I've already reorganized this blog's theme for a potential new era. I don't even know what that era really is going to be, but I'll be here, thinking. I just wanted to let you know that I'm still here, thinking about you guys, and that I haven't been sitting around doing nothing.

Basically, things are looking up, but they're always looking up, aren't they? Maybe I'm just permanently optimistic about everything.

Anyway, I can link you to some of the things I've been doing:
-To see my art Tumblr, go here!
-I've also got a photography tumblr, which you can see here! (It's a little abandoned, but that's because I haven't taken any really good pictures lately. Most of the stuff on there is from when I went on trips, and I haven't really traveled at all since November.)
-To check out what I've been doing in my AP Art class, click here!
-To check out the Nosey Tumblr, go here (though I haven't posted on there in over a year, you can check it out)
-You can also, like, go to this website and buy my art on things!! It's crazy and I can't believe I forgot to mention it! Check it out, dude! I have to admit, the stuff on there is a little old, but I'll update it relatively soon.
-You might remember, I recommended you guys my personal tumblr while ago. "epicninjabowlerhatguy" was my username. But that Tumblr is no longer, so you can't find it anymore. Sorry, guys.

Anyway, that's what's been going on for me. I've been working on the post for what feels like ages. I'm sitting here with my window open (thinking about the fresh air made me want to breathe it, no matter how cold it is outside), streaming music on YouTube and wondering how best to continue with this.

A couple years ago, I seemed to gain this pretty big fanbase for someone so young. And I never truly thought very much about how it affected me. I know I would make posts praising you guys, the audience, and how much you'd changed my life, etc, but honestly, I was more focused on what I was doing rather than you guys. Which is understandable, but I didn't think about how good it was to have people look up to me. It was honestly a really good time in my life, and I think I'd like to get back into it. So look forward to an update! Because I'm probably going to start throwing some kind of content at you guys soon. And you better like it!! (I'm kidding, you can feel how you want about it, obviously.) At any rate, I want to work on one thing: communication between me and you guys. I don't really know exactly how I'm going to do that at this point, but I'll find a way. Something I've always thought would be a good way to help build the community would be to do livestreams. They'd be kind of like hangout sessions, where the fans (you guys) can live chat me while I'm doing things (those things probably being drawing art). It's a work in progress. Like everything is, at this point.

Writing a good conclusion is really difficult. I give up. Thanks for reading! Because honestly I'm not sure who is listening anymore. But that's okay. What happens happens. See you in the next post.

         ~Cassie